Erieversible

I had about five errands to run this afternoon.  I had to pick up a check for instance for the house closing tomorrow, and run to the Gas Company and prove that my husband exists.  Little things like that.  And, of course, the kids had to tag along as they are off school and I didn’t have a chance to make other arrangements.  (My cousin actually offered to take them off my hands, but then her mother called from the Emergency Room and she had other things to worry about!)

About half way through the errand list, the little one announced that she didn’t feel well.  And I felt her forehead and it was warm.  Not hot, but warmer than normal.  And I remembered that being a mother is hard work some times.  I don’t think she is really ill.  She has been fighting a cold for ages, but she doesn’t seem that bad.  But I worry.  It goes with the stretch marks. 

We had to finish the errands, otherwise we can’t close tomorrow and that raises a whole raft of other problems.  She was a brave little trouper about it all, but she was clearly not feeling her best.  Now we are home and she is on the couch with a blanket, a pillow, and a cuddly toy, watching Barbie and the Diamond Castle.  After a little while, she asked for some Cheerios, and she has actually eaten them, so I’m sure she isn’t doing too badly.  But it is hard not to worry.

Tomorrow morning I have to be up at the crack of dawn to drive to Buffalo for the house closing.  My mother is looking after the kids.  I trust her, really I do, but I wish I didn’t have to go.

So I know I’m spoiled.  I haven’t worked since I got married eleven years ago due to a combination of factors that are too complicated to go into here.  I’ve enjoyed my (very extended) holiday from paid employment and I’ve loved being home with the children when they were little.

But our situation has now changed dramatically and finding employment is a matter of some importance.  Either hubby or I need to find some work and to generate some income.  If one of us could find a job with benefits, that would be even better.

I have to admit that there is a part of me that is really looking forward to the idea of going back to work.  I’m excited about the idea of new challenges and learning new things and also to having a chance to remember that I’m more than just a wife and mother.

But part of me is also terrified by the idea.  I haven’t worked in so long now that having a job seems a life time ago.  And I hate the thought of not being there for the children.  The older one might not even notice, but the five year old will hate not having mummy around all the time.  Still, moving has been all about adjustments and I’m sure we will all adjust to the new realities in time.

In time being the key words there…I have a job interview on Tuesday.  Eeek!